The REAL Zodiac Brave Story
by ChaoticRevival
Summary: This is how it REALLY happened. Rated for swearing, violence, drugs, sexual innuendo, and sheer ass-hattery.
1. A Scholars Life Sucks

Chaotic Revival:Ok, I'm back, and with less meds than ever!

Malak: Cheers...

Chaotic Revival:Shut up, or you'll end up like my Fire Emblem lackies!

***Elsewhere***

Colm:Pool..n-n-noodles....

***Back to this fic***

Chaotic Revival: Aaaaanyyyywaaaays...Mustadio! Hit it, meh man!

Mustadio: Chaotic Revival does not own the Final Fantasy Series, its characters, plots, etc. Now read the story, or I'll shoot your balls off.

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_I am Alazlam. Yes, my parents were on the meth when they named me. I am a scholar of Ancient Ivalice history. I study dead people for a living. Yay me._

_Have you ever heard of the Lion War? It started when these two dumbasses started fighting over who'd be king. It went something like this:_

Goltana:Rawr, I'z guna be king! Lololol!

Larg:No ur not! I pwnzors you first! Roflcopter!!!!11

Goltana: Plz, u gon get pwnzored, noob! Lololol!

_Anyways, this war ended with the appearance of a young hero named Delita. Alot of parents are on the meth, apparantly. Still, its not as retarded as ZALBAG! Anyways, everyone in Ivalice knows this hero's tale. But we also know that what we see with our eyes alone isn't neccesarily the truth. Like political promises or Britney Spears in decent clothing._

_Heres a young man._

Ramza:...

_He is the youngest son of the noble Beoulve..Okay, seriously, who the hell came up with these names? But, I digress. There is no record of his playing an active part in history, but according to the Duray Report released last year (Concealed for many years by the church, the sneaky bastards), this unknown man is the true hero...Wait, if he's unknown, how the hell do we know who his family is? Oh well. The church claims he was a blasphemer and anarchist. The root of all evil. Like Barney or Hanna Montanna. But is this the truth? Won't you join me on a journey for the truth? No, seriously, PLEASE come with me! This job is boring and lonely as hell. I haven't been laid in YEARS!_

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And that was the first chapter! Please review! Flames will be laughed at and tentacle raped by a Marlboro.


	2. I'mma Firin' Mah Lazors!

CR:…Only one review, huh?

Mustadio: Y-yeah….

CR:…

Mustadio: *Gulp*

CR: You have failed me for the last time… *Raises hand*

Mustadio: *Choking* N-no!

Malak: Uhh…We're experiencing technical difficulties. In the mean time, read this story and remember, CR don't own crap. I'M COMING, MUSTADIO!

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It was a dark and stormy night…Oh, how fucking original… Anyways, it was a dark and stormy night at Orbonne Monastary. Inside, a young woman kneeled down before some big lamp thingy. "Oh God,"she praid, "Have mercy on us sinful children."

"Umm, princess…" Interjected an old priest with a 'stache standing behind her, "Your praying to the chandelier." He pointed out.

"Oh God," the princess began again, "Shut this mo'fo up before I bitch slap his sorry ass into next week." The priest gulped, stepped back, and looked to a blond woman in armor to his right. She simply shrugged and made the crazy sign with her finger.

"Princess, we must get going." The woman said.

"Oh God," the princess began yet again, "Strike these sons of bitches down for interrupting me during my personal reflection time." The priest and the knight traded glances, and mentally sighed.

Just then, the door opened. In stepped two young men and an older man in black armor, sporting a 'stache superior to that of the priests. "What's taking so long?" the 'stache man asked. "In case you didn't notice, it's raining out there!"

"Gafgarion, behave yourself!" The knight scolded.

"Bitch, please! You DARE try to stand up to my 'stache?" Gafgarion demanded. The knight, who by the way is named Agrias, shook her head and shut up. "Good! …Ok, what the hell is she doing?" he asked, looking towards the princess.

"…She's praying." The priest replied.

"…That's a chandelier…"

"It's best not to question it…"

Just then, another person burst through the doors. Do these people EVER knock? Damn! Oh, yeah, and he was bleeding and stuff. "Lady Agrias…Father Simon, the-"

"Woah, woah, woah, back up!" Gafgarion shouted. "Simon? Your telling me someone in this game has a NORMAL name!? BLASPHEMY!"

"Uhh…As I was saying…The enemy is attacking!" The random man then died and was forgotten.

"An attack, eh? We shall see! Rad, Ramza, follow me!" Gafgarion shouted, turning towards the door. He then looked to Ramza. "…Now whats wrong?" he growled. "Your being an emo faced little prick again. You KNOW that pisses me off." Ramza was about to speak, only to get cut off. "Yeah, don't want to hear it. Now, tallyho!" With that, Gafgarion charged out. Ramza, Rad, and Agrias all looked at each other, shrugged, and followed after him.

Outside the front gate were two other knight women at the door. They were hit when Gafgarion pushed the doors open, and went flying down the steps. Little stars started floating above their heads. Infront of him was a small band of warriors. "Ahem!" one began. "Surrender the princess, and we can solve this peacefully! If not, we will-"

"Bored now, bye!" Gafgarion replied Using the awesome power of The 'Stache, he summoned some big eye thing above the speaker, who didn't move despite how ridiculously slow the damned thing was.

"I'mma firin' ma lazors!" the eye thing shouted. It then fired its lazors, killing the generic speaker. Gafgarion was then healed by the damage done, because his Stache power was simply that awesome.

Agrias blinked. "Okay, that wasn't necessary. I mean, seriously, we don't need to kill them"

"SILENCE!" Gafgarion retorted. "WITNESS THE POWER OF THE 'STACHE!" The dark knight shouted. He then went running around, firing his lazors off here and there.

Agrias sighed, and ran on up to a generic archer. "Stasis Sword!" she shouted, swinging her sword. A block of ice fell and whacked the archer in the head.

"Oww! What the hell!?!" the archer shouted, only to get hit by another block of ice. "Come on! That hurts!" Another block of ice fell. "What kinda-" Another block of ice. "Stupid attack-" Ice. "Is-" Ice. "This!" Ice. "Ok, screw it!" The archer then KO'd himself.

"Ok, seriously, that's one lame ass attack." Rad commented. "You dropped blocks of ice on a guy! It would have been easier just to stab him!" Agrias turned around and glared, shutting him up.

Where was Ramza during all this? Doing nothing. I mean, seriously, he's got these two special class knights going off firing Shoop Da Whoops and ice blocks everywhere. What the fuck's he gunna do to compare with that? Might as well just sit back and relax.

-----

Several minutes later

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"Uhh, Gafgarion…" Agrias began. "Gafgarion…Your firing lazers at a frog."

"SILENCE!" Gafgarion retorted. "The frog mocks The 'Stache! As such, it must DIE!" With that, he started Shoop Da Whooping frogs.

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Several more minutes later

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"Oookay, now that Gafgarion has successfully decimated the frog population of Ivalice, this battle is over." Agrias cheered.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Rad retorted, only to have blocks of ice fall on him.

Suddenly, inside there was a shrill shriek.

"The Princess is in trouble!" Agrias shouted.

"Do you really care?" Gafgarion asked.

"Not really." She admitted. "But she owes me a nickel."

"Fiiiine. Ramza, go help her."

Nodding, Ramza ran into the Monastary after Agrias. Inside, they found the princess struggling with a man in armor. "Wait, wait, wait, time out!" Rad shouted, running inside. "How the HELL did he get in here!?"

"Back door." Agrias replied.

"…If there's a back door, why didn't we just take the princess and escape!?" He shouted. He was then hit by lightning for daring to question the plot. "How did lightning strike inside!?" he asked, only to get struck again. "Oww…" He then rose to his feet. "I'm ok." With that, he staggered back outside.

Anyways, back to the story. The princess was struggling with a man in armor. "Unhand me!" she shouted. "Or you will face the wrath of God!" She then pointed up to the chandelier.

The man looked up to the chandelier, then to Agrias and Ramza, a confused look on his face.

"She thinks the chandelier is God." Agrias explained. She then made little crazy loops with her head.

"How DARE you insult God!" The princess shrieked. "He will punish you for that!"

"Ovelia, for the last time, the damned chandelier isn't God! It's a stupid chandelier!" Agrias shrieked back. She was then struck by lightning. "What the…How did lightning strike? We're inside!?" She was then struck again. Ramza shrugged.

"It is the wrath of God!" Ovelia shrieked. "Repent, you sinners, and He shall spare you!"

The man in armor sighed. "Ok, that's enough." He then punched her in the stomache.

"Thank you!" Agrias sighed. "She is such a bi-wait…Fiend!" She then unsheathed her sword. "She owes me a nickel!"

"Oh…well…Sucks to be you!" The man replied.

"…Delita?"

Agrias and Delita looked around. "Who said that?" they asked simultaneously.

"I did."

Agrias and Delita looked up. "God, is that you?" they asked simultaneously.

"No! I'm not God!"

Agrias' and Delita's eyes widened. "It's SATAN! NOOOO!

"Oh for the love of…It's me, Ramza!" The blonde shouted.

Agrias blinked. "Holy shit, you can talk?" she asked.

"Of course I can talk!" He retorted. "Why the hell do you think I can't talk!?"

"Well, you haven't said much." Agrias replied matter o' factly. "Anways, we need to get back to the plot."

"Oh, right, the plot." Ramza agreed.

"Yes, the plot." Delita said, nodding his head.

They were all struck by lightning for breaking the fourth wall.

Delita blinked. "How did lightning-"

"Don't!" Agrias and Ramza shouted simultaneously, knowing what would happen if he dared tried to make sense of the Authors amazing powers to defy the laws of physics.

"Oh, right, thanks guys." Delita replied.

"Eh, no problem." Ramza replied. "Now where were we? Oh yeah…Delita!"

Delita looked up at him, then turned away and started walking out the back door.

"Quick!" Agrias shouted, running out the front

"Uhh…we could just take the back…" Ramza commented, only to get hit by a block of ice. "Ok, ok, we'll do it your way." He groaned, running after her.

Outside, the two heroes ran to the river to see Delita riding some giant chicken. Ok, what the hell? Why a giant chicken? Why not, I dunno, a horse? Seriously, riding a giant chicken is just STUPID!

"Damn!" Agrias swore. "We're too late!"

"Yes, well…" Delita then cleared his throat. "Ahem…If you must blame someone, blame yourself…Or blame God!" He was then struck by lightning. "Oww…" With that, he road off.

"Damn!"Agrias swore again. She then turned to see Gafgarion and the three unimportant normal class people. "Why are you just standing there!?" she shouted. "Why didn't you help us!?"

"Eh, didn't feel like it." Gafgarion replied, trimming his 'Stache.

"But-"

"You DARE question me!?" Gafgarion shouted. "Do you wish to feel the wrath of THE 'STACHE?" Agrias shook her head.

"Wait…" Rad interjected. "Why didn't you just hit him with a Stasis Sword? That woulda solved the problem…" He was then pelted by blocks of ice. "Ok, shutting up now."

Ramza was currently looked out to the river. "Delita…" he muttered. "Is it really you?"

"No!" Agrias shrieked. "We are NOT doing a flash back!"

Too late.

"Damn!"

Yeah, life's a bitch.

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CR: Ok, I'm better.

Mustadio: X_X

Malak: X_X

CR: Anyways, please press that little blue button. It will make me smile. ^^

P.S. Flames will be laughed at and fed to a chocobo. Jokes about Christianity will be ignored, and the writer will feel the wrath of Gafgarion's 'Stache.


	3. Of Flashbacks and Catfights

CR: Okay, people, what the hell? Dontcha love me? Dontcha think maybe I'd like a review or two? Huh? Now I have to kill Beowulf.

Beowulf: Say wha?

CR: *Brandishes large axe*

Beowulf: NOOOO!

CR: C'MERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!

Reis:...Umm...CR doesn't own Final Fantasy Tactics or anything else he may be parodying....BEOWULF, DUCK!

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_Oh, it's you again. Looks like I actually get a speaking role now and again. Huzzah! Oh yeah, anyways, ahem..._

_Delita's name appears for the first time a year before the Lion War began. Many soldiers who returned from the war found they had no jobs, despite the fact they were in the army the dumb shits, little food, and even less loyalty to the crown. Many became theives and rebels plotting rebellion (as opposed to what!?) against the Royal Family. 'Cuz y'know. People just love doing that in these games._

_Murder and robbery where common in that time, kinda like a big Los Angelas or something. Anyways, blah blah blah, I've got nothing funny to say, get on with the damned story!_

------------Auditorium------------

This chapter begins in an auditorium. No, not one with bleachers and 13 year olds in skirts acting like skanks. No, this is a military auditorium! Therefor it is very...military-ish...and...epic! Hell, I don't know. Anyways, there were a little cluster of squires and chemists around, chatting away like the lazy bastards they were.

"Hey, another caravan was robbed today." One generic squire said.

"Must have been the Death Corpse." another replied.

"Really? How do you know?" the first one asked.

"Because...y'know...their the bad guy..." the second replied.

"So? Theres alot of thieves around nowadays. Didn't you hear the damned narrator?" the first asked, only to be struck down by a bolt of lightning.

Meanwhile, Ramza was talking to Delita. "Somethings starting...Do you know anything, Delita?" he asked.

"Oh yes, Ramza." Delita replied. "I know it all. In fact, they are sure to tell me **everything** because I'm just sooooo damned special. In fact, I'm so fucking special, you could save the world and I'd get all the credit!"

Ramza shrugged. "Yeah, like that will ever happen." Oh, the irony! "But, you sure you don't know anything."

"Well, theres gunna be trouble." Delita replied with a shrug. "Prince Larg is coming to town."

Suddenly, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Delita.

"You mean...?" Ramza asked.

"Thats right!" Delita replied. "Hit it!" And someone class changed to a bard and started playing. "Oooooooh, you better kiss ass, you better not spy, you better bow down, I'm tellin you why, Prince Larg is coming to town!" he sang. Suddenly all the women class changed to dancers in naughty santa outfits and started dancing behind him. "He knows when you are sleeping, your ass is his to take, he likes to prey on little boys, so lock your doors for goodness sake! Oooh, you better kiss ass-" He was cut off as some knight walked in, and everything randomly went back to normal.

Unfazed, the knigt stepped up to the podium and faced the small crowd. "You have a mission!" he announced.

"Thank you captain obvious!" Someone shouted from the crowd, only to get struck by a bolt of lightning for daring to question the awesomeness of this lowsy cameo knight.

"Barbarians are increasing rapidly here in Gariland! We've been ordered to exterminate these people who have resorted to thievery in order to feed their wives in children by our Master, because he's a royal douchebag!" Everyone cheers except that one guy who got hit by the lightning bolt. He's still out of it. "Anyways, knights from all over are coming to kill off this band of thieves that should be relatively easy to do with just a few, but thats besides the point! And since we're sadist bastards, you'll be fighting too!" Everyone cheered. Except the passed out guy.

It was then that a female knight came in and whispered something into the announcers ear. She then disappeared and was never seen again. So sad. "Allright, cadets!" the knight said. "A band of tortured thieves, whatever the hell thats supposed to mean, has somehow got passed our awesomely awesome army, has come here, and is headed to Igros! Go kill them!" And with that, class was dismissed...or something.

-----Igros City----

Now we find our heros and their posse of squires and chemists all nicely lined up against a small batch of enemies.

"Whats this!?" the supposed leader of the bad guys said. "Just a bunch of kids! What luck! Allright, lads, we kill these kids, then we can go!" This was followed by an awkward silence. "...What?"

"Dude..." the badguy chemist said. "Just...no...Thats just...wrong, man. We're supposed to be rebels and freedom fighters and that stuff, and you want to kill kids? Dude..thats just...like...wow...."

"But, y'know...they're the enemy and stuff...And we're the badguys of this chapter...We're supposed to kill them." The leader replied.

"Oh, thats your excuse?" another squire commented. "You are SO messed up. It's just wrong, man, wrong."

While they bickered, Ramza and Delita traded glances and shrugged. Ramza then ran up to the leader and stabbed him in the chest.

"Woah, woah!" one of the enemy squires started. "Dick move, man. Dick move! You don't just run up and stab a guy while he's having a conversation! Thats just...like...unfair!"

"So?" Ramza replied. "You guys are thieves and murderers. What do you care?"

"...Good point!" The squire replied. He then stabbed Ramza in the shoulder.

"Oww! Little prick!" Ramza then smacked the squire. Blinking, the squire smacked back at him. Soon, they were on the ground, tearing at eachothers clothes and hair.

"...Should we do something?" Delita asked?" All the remaining people looked around and shrugged. "Lets just get on with it." With that, he unsheathed his sword. "TO VICTORY!" he cried, charging into the battle.

---Five minutes later---

Delita sighed and stabbed the man who was ripping out Ramza's hair. "Ramza, we're done." he said, helping the blonde up.

"We are? See, I knew I'd lead us to victory!" The blonde cheered, doing an arm pump.

"Actually, Ramza, you kinda...oh, nevermind..." Sighing, Delita just walked away. "Fucking idiot..." he muttered.

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CR:Now review or I'll eat you.


	4. ZALBAG! XD

CR: These lack of reviews break my heart.

Mustadio: What heart?

CR: ..Thats it, your next. *Brandishes the axe*

Mustadio: ACK! NOOOO!

Worker 7: Master-does-not-possess-the-titular-game-Final-Fantasy-or-any-of-its-installments-or-characters. Commence-with-collecting-the-data-he-has-written-below.

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_I'm back! And thats right, we're starting with a flashback within a flashback! Sucks to be you!_

Screenshot of two guys, neither with 'Staches but with awesomely awesome beards of compensation, and some dumb broad in a fancy dress with a red hairbow gathered around some old guy with another, less awesomeley awesome beard, in his death bed.

_Having attained the highest rank of Heavenly Knight, brave Balbanes was facing his last days...Okay, wait, Balbanes? Seriously, people, what the hell? These names are getting stupider and stupider, and thats not even a real word. Oh, right, the plot..._

The old man on the death bed started up a coughing and weezing fit. "How *coughcough* *weez* goes the *cough* battle?" he asked.

"Through swift action we were able to recover Limberry." The younger of the awesomely awesome bearded men replied. "It's only a matter of time before the Ordaha army leaves Zeltenia. Don't worry." Balbanes then broke out into a laughing fit. "Father, is something the matter?"

"Your...name...is...ZALBAG! AHAHAHAHAHA!" The old man howled in laughter. "WHAT THE HELL WAS I ON WHEN I NAMED YOU!?" he asked, pointing and laughing at Zalbag between weezes.

"Umm...right..."

"Ahem..." The older bearded man interjected. "The secret messenger sent to Count Lena-" He was then cut off by the old mans howling laughter. "...Father?"

"Your...name...is...DYCEDARG! AHAHAHAHA!" Balbanes laughed.

"Father...My name isn't Dycedarg, it's Hector." Hector reminded him.

"WRONG!" Balbanes replied. "Remember that parchment you signed? The one that I told you would put the castle in your name?" Hector nodded. "Well, part of that deed has legally and irreversibly changed your name to Dycedarg! YOU GOT SCHOOLED, BITCH!"

"Father..." The girl whimpered, tears welling up.

"And you! Your name is Alma! What kinda name is that!? Still, it's better than...than...ZALBAG! AHAHAHA!"

"Okay, thats it..." Zalbag growled. He then whipped out a dagger and stabbed Balbanes.

"Zalbag, you fool!" Dycedarg lectured. "Don't you realise what you've done!?"

"What? He was being a total douche!" Zalbag retorted.

"Yes, but now we have no one to pass the blame onto!" Dycedarg reminded him.

"Oh shit." Zalbag growled. "Dammit, where is Ramza when you need him!?" Then, as if by a random twist of fate, said Ramza burst into the room. "Oh, well, isn't that quite the random twist of fate..." Why yes, yes it is, my dear Zalbag. "Ramza, Father is dying!" Zalbag informed. "His illness is taking him."

"...Brother...is that blood? And why do you have that knife? And why is it covered in a sticky, red substance?" Ramza asked.

"Uhh...I was using it to...cut up a tomato for Fathers tomato juice. He spilled some on him." Zalbag lied. And because he is Zalbag, the lie worked, despite the fact blood looks nothing like tomato juice. Zalbag is just awesome that way.

"Oh, okay!" Ramza replied, totally buying it. Because it's Zalbag.

"Ramza..." Balbanes coughed. "My son...you...are...a fucking idio-" And then he goes and dies. Haha. Sucks to be you, Ramza. Sucks to be you. Ramza lowers his head all emo-y and the flashback ends. Yay.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

That flashback over, the initial flashback resumes, and we're off to the next battle because I'm too lazy to bother with considering what the fuck these people do between battles and cutscenes. Anyways, now theres a buncha thieves, although only one of them is an actual Thief, the rest are a bunch of lowly squires. Haha. Squires. Anyways, theres some other guy there all beaten up and junk, aaaaaand this ensues:

"He's still breathing." A squire thief commented. "What do we do?"

"Don't be stupid. All we need is the marquess."

"Right...By the way, don't blame us, blame fate. Because it's totally not our fault that we ambushed you, attacked you, and are about to kill you. We are completely not responsible for this. Yep." Oddly enough, no one bothered to point out the sheer stupidity of that comment. Not even the translators...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Dude..." Some guy who translates games into english said. "I am completely in agreeance with that statement. It's so not his fault, even if he did it of his own accord."

"I know, dude. I know."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Wait!" The actual Thief of the thieves interjected. "Look! A small band of Hokuten Knights have conveniently appeared at the right moment to save this guy! How convenient!" he announced. "Okay, kill the guy."

"But we have to engage the other people in battle first!" A squire interjected.

"...You gotta be joking..." the thief responded. "Your telling me that we can't kill this guy yet, JUST because a bunch of people popped up! That is so stupid! This whole thing blows! Down with this bullshit! Down with it I sa-aaaaaaaah!" Yes, indeed, he was struck by lightning. Multiple times. In the head. I hated that bitch.

"Well..that was....random." Ramza commented. "Anyways, we need to kill those bandits!" He pronounced.

"But what about that innocent?" A chemist interjected.

"Oh, what **ABOUT** that innocent!?" Ramza retorted. "Everytime someone comes along with a battle plan that might do this country a bit of good, it's _But what about the innocents?_" He growled, repeating the chemists words in a mocking tone. "Yes, **SOME** innocents will get killed, but we all have to make sacrifices! This is a good plan! It's a good plan! A good one! It's a good plan! A. Good. Plan. A good plan. It's a good one. Now, shut the hell up and go kill them! It's a good plan!" After a pause of silence, the motley crew cheered and charged into the fray.

Meanwhile, Delita hung back and rubbed his forhead. "I am NOT paid enough for this bullshit..." We know, Delita. We know.

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Review, or so help me I will sneak into your house and break your neck!


	5. The Lousiest Chapter So Far

Chaotic Revival: Hello, kitties!

Malak: Oh, look who's finally back.

Chaotic Revival: Aww, you missed me!

Malak: No, it's just you usually bring your latest victim back to life when you come around for a new chapter, and Mustadio's rotting. It stinks something awful.

Chaotic Revival: Right...Anyways, while I revive Mustadio, Malak, give the disclaimer!

Malak: *Sigh* Chaotic Revival does not own Final Fantasy Tactics, the Final Fantasy series in general, or any thing else he may reference that already belongs to someone else.

Chaotic Revival: Malak, we're out of chickens to sacrifice!

Malak: Use the chocobo!

Boco: Wark!?

We return as our heroes finish up their climactic battle.

"What the hell!?" Delita shouted. "You just skip over an entire battle!? How lazy ARE you!?" He was silenced by a lightning bolt to the head.

While a chemist dealt with Delita's most recent head wound, Ramza decided to converse with the man they rescued. Now, for the sake of simplicity, this conversation will take place in script form. If you don't like it, you can kiss my all american ass.

Algus: OMG! TYTYTYTYTYTY! U IZ TEH SHIZZZZZ!

Ramza: Uhh...what?

Algus: LIKE, OMG, U GOTTA HELP MEH! MY MVP GOT TAKEN BY THOS NUBS!

Ramza: ...What?

Algus: I'M ALGUS, LULULULUL! I'M JOINING UR PARTY!

Ramza: ....WHAT!?

So, after Delita recovered from his head trauma, Ramza presented the problem to him. After extensive off screen research, Delita came up with the solution. "You see, Ramza, it appears our new friend Algus is a noob." Ramza gave him a blank look. "Let me explain. A noob is someone who who thinks he's the shit at a game or a roleplay of some sort. These people try to assert their fake awesomeness by speaking very poor 1337. And 1337 isn't a very good language to begin with."

"So...In short...This guy is..."

"Yes, Ramza, he's more stupid than you."

"MY GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE!" Ramza shrieked. "MY WHOLE WORLD IS FALLING APART! WHO AM I!? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE!? I NEVER SAW FRAAAAAAAA-" Delita smacked him upside the head, effectively shutting him up. "Thanks, I needed that. Anyways, lets go see my brother. He can help."

"I would just love to see your douchebag brother, Ramza, really I would, there's just one problem."

"Whats that?"

"You see, the author has absolutely no ideas for this part of the fanfic. He's ending it here, and we'll probably have a massive timeskip when he does the next chapter."

"...."

"...."

"...Well, fuck."

Thats it. Yeah, I have no motivation.


End file.
